i was looking at various blogs of people i know (and people i don't know) and i decided to start again. i always convince myself after i start that blogging isn't worth my time, but i never remember to write in my actual journal, and while i'm thinking about it, i might as well update the world on my life...
so i turned in my film major application today! this would be exciting except i rushed it, and i don't feel very good about it. seriously, though, if i don't get in, i don't know what i'm going to do with my life. probably drop out of school, work, go on my mission, and figure it out when i get back. but that shouldn't be my attitude.
speaking of attitude, i feel like that's what i struggle with the most, religiously. i don't always think i'm doing stuff for the right reasons, but i want to be.
mission prep class was enlightening as always, but it still remains that the beginning of class is my favorite part. there is something so powerful about hearing people state their mission assignments for the church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints. plus, i have to live vicariously through other people for now since i can't go myself until next year. gah... i went with the sisters on sunday actually. one of them is older and she says she's glad she had to wait, and waited even longer because she wasn't ready at 21. i don't think i'll wait till i'm much older than 21 and 6 months, but i do think i need more time to prepare.
anyway, back to film... this morning was awful. i was ridiculously stressed. i hadn't felt that nervous since eighth grade when i was taking an algebra test and i didn't know what to do. with the help of my amazing friend brynn, i got it done around 11:45 a.m. (it was due at noon.) why do i never learn my lesson in procrastination? i really wish i would. the funny thing is, i wasn't relieved after turning it in. i still have so much to do. for the rest of the day everything i learned kind of went in one ear and out the other. i forgot that it was monday, and started heading to my tuesday class, making it to my job's staff meeting late.
so here i am wasting more time when i have a resolution to write for my honors american heritage student congress. plus, i should be spending a lot more free time studying for italian--who knew learning a language was so hard? haha...
my brother moved out to utah. it's nice to have someone here to as a support system. he's helped me out a lot since he's been here.
speaking of needing help, i really don't know how i'm supposed to do it all (work, school, film, sleep, and eat). i can't do it all. so what am i going to do? i don't know. drown, probably. i'm so bad at saying no. and even without the stuff that is optional to participate in, i still can't find the time to do it all, and do it all well. argh!! but i'll start by bidding the world wide web goodnight.
No comments:
Post a Comment