revamp.

so i'm kind of pissed right now. about petty things. but who doesn't get angry about things that don't matter once in a while?

in general, i hate hypocritcalness. this is why i hate myself sometimes. this is why i didn't get along with my dad as a child. this is why i am peeved at someone in my living quarters.

... i was about to vent, but i just can't do it. i am destined to keep it bottled up, i guess. problems will remain unsolved.

but for now i can find solace with ingrid michaelson and exploding dog.

listening to: the chain.
looking at: http://explodingdog.com/title/areyoustilllistening.html, http://explodingdog.com/title/todayitstartsalloveragain.html

BTW this is a terrible day to start a blog about things that annoy me. we just started our curriculum on charitable narratives in my 114 class and watched an amazing movie called The Son about a Christ-like character. go watch it. it could change your life. obviously, my attitude still needs some adjustment, but i highly recommend it. the camera movement is hard to digest at first, but you'll get used to it.

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i just had a brilliant idea to make this not such a horrible blog about complaining! for everything i say bad stuff about i have to say two good things about something else or list whatever i'm grateful for that day!

so the positive side of life...

1. i am going to get paid for wednesday when i was supposed to work because the close of campus was unexpected. this is seriously the first time i have seen physical blessings of tithing--something i've been waiting and wanting to experience for a long time. and i plan on making good on Heavenly Father's investment in me. i will serve a mission and most money i make goes to tuition or savings for next june (when i plan on leaving).

2. i am thankful for Christmas decorations. we just put up a lit tree in my apartment tonight and it sure is cheery.

3. (once i start i just can't stop...) i'm grateful for film friends and making movies with people i actually like. tonight i was filming for my 114 final. i'm DPing, which is awesome in and of itself. coco is our sound girl/producer. colten is directing. carson, who wrote the screenplay, is doing everything else, pretty much. and aaron o. is the talent. these people are fun so thanks to you guys and girl.

<3 samantha cocaine.